Nocturnal Emissions

For Gregory

2012-01-16T12:10:00.001-06:00

Gregory,
Last night while writing your dad a Happy MLK note - I ran across a video you did driving home from Dallas. I can't find it now and so I can't watch it again - but I thought about it all night. So - you obviously do things because they are the right thing to do. I would urge you to never lose that calling. The World needs boy scouts and samaritans and Tibetan Monks who walk old ladies across the street, hold doors open for fancy ladies, who protect the weak, watch out for the little guy and root for the underdog. Back in the day when I was on patrol, one my favorite things to do was to overwhelm people with niceness. They would jump out of their car waving their hands bitching to high heaven about whatever - sharing their sad, miserable lives with me - trying though they might to bring me down to their level and make me as miserable as they are. Lesbians do that to - but that's another story. And so the challenge always is to encourage people who are not polite, who are not happy, who are having a bad day, to step up to the high ground that you walk on. You do that by walking the walk, living by example, and doing each day what you know in your heart is the right thing to do - and be the living example of character, humility, compassion, empathy, generosity and love. And if you do this always - you will find that you can change the people around you, and that the people who occupy your inner circle of trusted loyal friends will live by the same creed - to do unto others as you would wish for them to do unto you.

That is all. As always, have a great day.
Carl

The Mentor

2011-12-01T10:27:00.001-06:00

A Text Message Received: Monday, November 28, 2011 at 4:45pm

Sorry I've been distant lately Carl. I've been very busy between work, school and Alicia, but I wanted to say hi and let you know that I've accomplished the first section of my goals that you made me. I've got a whole lot of Spanish and Guitar ahead of me, but I practice in the meanwhile. I don't know that I would have ever gotten my head out of my ass enough to do that, let alone think of those as potential things for me to do and act accordingly. You are the first person in my life that has taught me how to make impossible dreams into achievable goals and then into my life. When people ask me how my day is: "I'm living the dream" - without sarcasm. For that, I thank you. I still read my list every day, and every day my world gets a little clearer. You're a great mentor and a greater friend. Please know that I don't take that for granted. I hope you are well, as well as the dogs and the cacti. I'd like to catch up with you soon. Let me know if you're down.
Thanks again Carl, for everything.
Michael Lee Melton

The Carbon Conundrum

2011-11-16T22:05:00.001-06:00

Ipacked the last of my things with an adventurous enthusiasm.
In my last phone callbefore leaving, my friend Jim told me to
find three emptyseats on the plane from Miami, to lie down and
sleep on the longflight South. With seventeen hours of flying ahead of
me, I though it goodadvice.

What I anticipatedwould be a reasonably carefree excursion would
begin with atraveler’s worst nightmare - Gluttony. As my seat row was
finally called, Imade my way through the line at the gate.
Standing not ten feetahead of me in line was an extremely
huge girl. As Iwatched her from behind, I said to myself,
"Please God,don’t let her sit next to me."

As insensitive as itsounded at the time, even to me, I just
didn’t want to startthe worst part of my trip, trapped in my
seat, pressed againstthe sultry flesh of a squishy human being.
Sure enough, by thetime I found my way aboard the plane, she’d
already pulled up theseat divider between our two seats and
oozed a good half-wayinto my prepaid space. Be "Zen," I thought
to myself, as Iclimbed over toward my seat.

What an obstacle Ithought, should there actually be an
emergency. We’re allgoing to die because the emergency exits
over the wings wereplugged up by a passenger. She couldn’t fit
down the aislewithout having to straddle and waddle at unusual
side angles as shewalked.

For the first time inmy life I was inspired to bitch to the
airline and insistthat she pay for the part of my seat that she
was occupying. When Ilooked over at her, I could tell
immediately that shefelt horrible, was completely
self-conscious, andthat if I said anything at all, not only
would I be cruel andinsensitive, but she’d probably start crying
or something and makethe whole thing that much worse.
I ordered a WildTurkey instead, turned the air toward my face,
and endured theflight out of Austin.

As I sat in the MiamiAirport waiting for the last long leg
south, the terminalwas filled with Bolivian businessmen and
travelers, laden withbags and boxes and trinkets of all kinds.
Three empty seats tolie down on and sleep, Jim had said. That
would be a tallorder. When the cabin door closed, I would be the
last and the onlygringo to move, destined to remain in my
assigned seat for thenext ten hours.

It was an all nightflight from Miami to La Paz. At sunrise the
next morning, I wouldland at the world’s highest airport and on
the longestcommercial runway. Despite the hours, I could find no comfort in
sleeping. I leanedquietly against the cabin window, staring out
occasionally at thecomplete darkness. Not even a moon would
bless the sky on thelong and lonely flight. We flew across the
Gulf of Mexico, theCaribbean, across the coastline of Columbia,
then into thedescending Amazon Basin of Peru and Brazil and not
once did I see alight on the ground.

After flying forhours in the darkness, and just as I began to
drift to sleep, I wasstartled by a bright light shining from
beneath the planeonto the ceiling above the cabin. The entire
cabin glowed with thewarm and familiar light as if from a city
below. With hoursstill to go to La Paz, I figured we were over
some eastern PeruvianCity. When I looked down out of the window,
I was surprised toonce again find no sign of civilization, or at
least as I knew it.

The light was shiningfrom a vast forest fire, blazing in the jungle.
Wealthy ranchers inwant of barren grazing land were burning
thousands of acres offorest. For miles I could make out huge
fires that lit up thesky. I was nearly six miles up in the air
and the sky was asbright as daylight from the fires below.
My God, I though.They really are burning the forests. I was
looking down upon asign, a sign of Armageddon, and the
Revelations wereplaying out before my very eyes.

On November 7, wewill all know who has been chosen to lead our
nation as well as theworld toward our human destiny. Throughout
the presidential raceand in the continuing debate, we have
muddled throughmyriad opinions about abortion, about the role
and consequences ofreligious fundamentalism in government, about
responsibility or thelack thereof, morals, ethics, political
reform, the influenceof big business in government, healthcare,
partisan andbipartisan politics.

We have heard variedopinions about the state of and plan for
education, socialsecurity, our national security and defense
readiness, thebooming economy, the budget windfall, and a number
of other importantissues that will affect all of us in the years
to come. What we havenot heard from the leaders of the western
world is how"we" will lead and manage the consequences of
overpopulation andpollution, the second exacerbated by the
first, the twouniversal issues that will affect all of mankind
forever.

Each of these issuesis important. A moral and ethical society
that is employed andproductive, reasonably educated, that has
purpose anddirection, which, supported by a sound economy
creates stability, oran inherent lack of serious conflict. If
the United States iseconomically stable, so too, is the rest of
the world in general.People everywhere can live their lives
without much worry orfear that they won’t eat, have a place to
live or be able toraise and support their families.

This is, in part ourgovernment’s role, to keep things stable and
its people happy.However, with every new human being - and we
add them by themillions - we place a greater demand upon the
natural order andharmony of our ever-shrinking planet.
Population controland environmental responsibility and
management are issuesthat are not just important, they are
critically important.

The success of ourdemocracy and free market economy is
completely dependentupon the availability and exploitation of
cheap fossil fuels,the Earth’s natural resources and economic
growth. To remaindominant as a world leader and economic
powerhouse, we mustseek out new markets throughout the world and
take every advantageof the world’s economic opportunities. In
doing so, so to do wedistribute our culture and values.
There is littleescaping exposure to American culture and quality
of life anywhere inthe world today. Our standard for and
exportation of a"quality of life" is based upon our naïve
understanding of ourown quality of life, the most opulent,
resource andopportunity laden society ever.

As we expand intoplaces yet untouched by development, we create
therein opportunityfor other populations. With their newfound
wealth, there isalways a corresponding increase in the quality
of life, facilitatingbetter education, healthcare, housing and
living conditions ofall kinds. An increase in the quality of
life increases boththe spans of life and population in general.
As larger and largerpopulations are sustained, there is a
correspondingincrease in the demand for goods, services and
natural resources.

Increases in thedemand for all of these things, sustaining an
ever-increasing humanpopulation, keeps people employed and the
economy robust andmost serious conflicts limited to religious
ideological dogma.The tragedy of this thinking and shortsighted
practice, unabridgedby responsible leadership and universally
applied resourcemanagement, is the assurance of our own
destruction.

There is littledenial and mounting scientific evidence that our
planet is out ofbalance. Not caused by the natural ebb and flow
of "cycles"in weather, water and ice, or of the sun, but caused
solely by theinfluence of man and his ever increasing disposal
of green house gassesinto the atmosphere, global warming is no
longer a debate.Everything about our economy is dependent upon
the exploitation ofthe land, trees, oil, minerals, and natural
gas.

The cast off ofalmost everything we do is Carbon Dioxide.
Billions of tons ofcarbon, otherwise trapped in the forests, and
undergroundreservoirs of coal, oil and gas, we expel as the
byproduct of ourengineering and industrial efficiency. Radiating
less of the sun’sheat to the cold of space, Carbon Dioxide and a
few other well-knownhydrocarbons warm our world. This is not to
mention thecontribution of toxic and other dangerous chemicals
and substances to theland, sea and air, endangering life or
depleting the Earth’sprotective ozone layer
.
We have alreadywitnessed dramatic changes in the Earth’s
atmospheric and oceantemperatures, and as a result, changes in
moderate andreasonably predictable weather patterns. Glaciers
all over the worldare receding at unprecedented rates. We now
know that in theyears to come, our current behavior will alter
both the life and thestability of our planet in ever more
significant, dramaticand perhaps permanent ways.

Despite the emergingtruth, it is not that surprising to find
that few Americansconsider the management of population or of
the environment ascritically important, pressing issues. Most
citizens areconcerned more about their economic welfare, their
security, and thattheir retirement savings grow exponentially
over the years. Mostcitizens - and most American leaders - look

for short-termgratification and solutions with little regard for
thelong-term consequences. And to make matters worse, in America,
our ideas are motivated not by information or by intellectualcontemplation. Our government is motivated almost entirely by money and thedesperate pursuit of more of it. No one is there to pay for the ideas that theworld is finite, population has a limit and that global warming and pollutionmay have devastating consequences to all life on Earth.

All people,particularly the young, are aware and can sense that
we are living onborrowed time. The future of our planet looms in
question. A time willcome when we must all face the consequences
of our conduct.

The preservation ofthe world environment and the balance of
nature are issuesthat cannot be ignored. It is however a matter
of such proportionthat it cannot be managed by mere individuals
alone. Governmentsand responsible government leaders are the only remaining
forces with the powerand influence to change the conscience of
thepeople and endeavor what must be done for the good of all mankind.
Even if we have nochoice but to cling to the
relentless pursuit ofwealth for our future, concocting economic
and tax incentivemeasures for citizens and corporations to
reforest their land,to recycle, to develop and utilize
environmentallyconscious processes, transportation, and energies, or for
families to bearfewer children is no more difficult than any other legislative
government action. What makes them different is that these are issues that must
transcend politics,religion and selfish gluttony. The choice is completely ours.

The Book ofRevelations predicts the demise of man. In the end,
the cause will nothave been his sins or the wrath of God. Man will
cause his ownundoing, wrought from both ignorance and greed. The
tragedy that willlive throughout time in the heavens will have
been that, by thegrace of God born into the Garden of Eden, Man
was given the mindand the body to save the World, but he didn’t.

Green Guy Recycling

2011-11-16T09:53:00.001-06:00

Time

2011-11-14T22:54:00.001-06:00

Each day the next is surely towing, and time too quick ispast us flowing.

Each day is shorter, shorter growing; no sign at all thattime is slowing.

We know from tests of speeding that, Einstein was talkingthrough his hat,

The scale of time but faster goes, for fact it cannot be itslows.

Perchance the Friesians did not know just how a clock issupposed to go.

And when they put their clocks in space, they set them attoo fast a pace.

When large it is the rate of v, then small becomes the paceof t

Perhaps therein the answer lies, a piece that always withyou flies.

For sake of theory must it be and faiths in scienceguarantee,

At the speed of light the time will still, and then willpass just as you will.

Carl H. Deal

Give Your Best To Life Each Day

2011-11-12T09:45:00.001-06:00

When you live with faith in others

Then you learn to trust and care

When you live with generosity

Or your instinct is to share

When you live with warmth and kindness

Then that kindness warms your heart

And it makes each day a sunny day

Right from the very start

When you live with peace and patience

Then you somehow find the way

Of turning frowns and troubles

Into happy hours each day

When you live with understanding

And you try to see the good

Then you never lose the hope you have

In lasting brotherhood

When you live with truth and honor

You have real security

For you know that you’re respected

And that you’ve a right to be

You can make the world a brighter place

And your own life happier, too

If you live with all these good things

For life gives them back to you.

Dick's Classic Cars in HDR

2011-11-11T20:49:00.001-06:00

Old Main

2011-11-07T20:24:00.003-06:00

The LXE Car

2011-11-07T19:57:00.000-06:00

These are the things I did this week to the LXE Car. My mom asked where I learned to do all this stuff. I said, your husband taught me these things doing what he did. I guess so, she says. I am amazing, none the less.

Spark plugs

Oil,

Oil Filter

Oil Sending Unit

Timing belt

Timing Tensioner

Serpentine Belt

AC Freon

Front and Rear Brakes

Starter

Water Pump

Transmission Filter

Transmission Fluid,

Left Rear Brake Light

Left front headlight

Cam Shaft Seal

Main Seal

Radiator Fluid

Radiator Thermostat

Radiator Cap

The Lotto

2011-10-30T09:19:00.000-05:00

Last night as I hastily cleaned my house in preparation of a Halloween Party, I was inspired to get a large diet Coke. I stopped at Lowe's and picked up two shower heads and some tile grout - went to Sac n Pac and poured the big drink. And at the register, the enticingly fronted TV screen said "Jackpot $19 Million". Crap - OK, so I bought five quick picks - three for the "Powerball" and two for the "Texas Lotto". This morning, after getting some coffee and after painting my kitchen cabinets, I checked my numbers. WOW......I did not get a single number - not one. And since that was my objective, I WIN! In fact, it seems that the odds were with me last night beneath the crescent moon.

But really, to put these things in perspective, the odds of drawing any winning sequence is about one in 195,249,054. Even though the odds of flipping heads on a quarter is one in two, I don't win that one very much either. And check out this cool fact - with 400,000,000 tickets in play, the probability that one winning combination exists is 0.0132%. And if you should win a grand prize, 38% goes to taxes. Given all of the prize options, the probability exists that you will get a return of 0.1358 cents per dollar invested. But then, of course, you could always never win for the odds of that are exactly the same - and that would just be the statistical luck of the draw.

Odds that a person between the age of 18 and 29 does NOT read a newspaper regularly: 3 to 1
Odds that an American adult does not want to live to age 120 under any circumstances: 3 to 2
Odds of injury from fireworks: 19,556 to 1
Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1
Odds of injury from using a chain saw: 4,464 to 1
Odds of injury from mowing the lawn: 3,623 to 1
Odds of fatally slipping in bath or shower: 2,232 to 1
Odds of drowning in a bathtub: 685,000 to 1
Odds of being killed on a 5-mile bus trip: 500,000,000 to 1
Odds of being killed sometime in the next year in any sort of transportation accident: 77 to 1
Odds of being killed in any sort of non-transportation accident: 69 to 1
Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1
Odds of being killed by lightning: 2,320,000 to 1
Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1
Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1
Odds of being the victim of serious crime in your lifetime: 20 to 1
Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1
Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1
Odds that a first marriage will survive without separation or divorce for 15 years: 1.3 to 1
Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime: 3 to 1
Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1
Odds of being born a twin in North America: 90 to 1
Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1
Odds of being audited by the IRS: 175 to 1
Odds of having your identity stolen: 200 to 1
Odds of dating a millionaire: 215 to 1
Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1
Odds of writing a New York Times best seller: 220 to 1
Odds of finding out your child is a genius: 250 to 1
Odds of catching a ball at a major league ballgame: 563 to 1
Odds of becoming a pro athlete: 22,000 to 1

The Little "Deal"

2011-10-28T09:35:00.001-05:00

Affordable Neon

2011-10-28T08:46:00.002-05:00

In my museum like house, I possess and display a uniquely cool neon sign, "Carl Deal Photography", which in bright red both lights my house as if a Bordello or "Amsterdam Alley", and can also been seen in the living room from the street. It is both art and ad I suppose. Alas, this past week, enough molecules of NEON escaped from the tube to compromise the circuit of the sign. And so I was forced to call the Doctor - the King of Neon himself, Ray Lynch - proprietor of "Affordable Neon." Ray by the way happens to be one among a small clan of the most interesting people in the World - but then that's another story. Yesterday morning long before the sun crested the horizon I transported my little "Deal" to downtown San Antonio. As a cursive glass sign, it is built into four parts - each requiring the stability to maintain the electric plasma arc circuit through all four pieces.

Ray was waiting at the warehouse door - the last hot day of the year - smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone. Little "Deal" went inside and waited on the workbench. "Ahhhh" he says, making an analytical observation that it was not in fact the demise of Neon in the tube but perchance a bit of dust and detritus which over time vibrated its way to an electrode - cooking like spilt milk on a stove. A quick fix he says.

With a small file he breaks off each blackened electrode and burns a new one on. Not so easy it turns out - these strange twists and turns only a "Deal" can make - even a misadventure or two. But in the end, my little "Deal" was whole again - absent a charge of gas. For me, science really is a cool thing and so I could not be a very good Republican - ignoring all the those meaningful fantastic facts. And so the process for sustaining a plasma arc inside of a glass tube really is the shiznit. And I'm not a science dork and so I was able to keep pace with the process intellectually - asking some good questions. I thought of course that just filling the tube with neon was adequate. It turns out that not only must you burn the tube clean with blazing voltage, but the neon presence must be far below atmospheric pressure.

Ray attached my "little "Deal" to a transformer, the likes of which you might find on a telephone pole. He'd attached small flakes of Mica in places the forthcoming charge might lurch out through the glass. Not only is it a big charge, but it seems it carries a hefty magnetic field as well - skewing electronic devices like expensive Canon cameras and Android phones - and so I stood back.

With a normal Oxygen and Nitrogen content, the tube glowed a bright green white light. I imagined this was not unlike the red and green of an Aurora but at a much higher energy. The point of course was to cook the insides out of the glass in anticipation of it being evacuated of atmoshere. Attached to a vacuum, it was soon void of gas. With a small charge of Neon, the tube was melted shut - glowing again in its familiar red.

It was still morning in Downtown San Antonio, and along the river walk there was the most magnificent aroma of onion, grilled chorizo, pepper - and breakfast taco in the air. After a long drive home, a few wire twists - the little "Deal" was back home.

George Gries Photography

2011-10-22T14:30:00.005-05:00

This blog is nearly always dedicated to my own writing and photography. Yesterday afternoon my friend George Gries drove up upon a chance - a rare, rare chance to photograph a mountain lion in the wild. He's lived on his ranch for decades and seen signs of a lion's range - and even hunted a few back in the day with a team of tracking dogs. George would much rather see one living and in the wild now as he no longer has to tend to his sheep. This image - one of six or seven - is a great find. George said it was a male and both huge and healthy.

Carl Deal - Halloween

2011-10-22T00:46:00.003-05:00

Our test image of "Hydropyrotechnics" for the Halloween Party Invite. Mastered in three shots whilst disassembling an old mortar shell for powder. Iso 100, 2 seconds, F-11.

The Dilemma

2011-10-16T10:12:00.005-05:00

It's a Sunday and a pleasant cool morning. Alas, I have arrived at a point in life where sleeping much past 6:30 is a chore - but I do get to witness the birth of the day and so it's OK. After eating a bit of left over calzone and running a load of laundry, I headed out for a cup of brew at the Wake the Dead coffee shop. As I meandered back home, I saw this guy out in his cactus garden across from the Sac n Pac there at Sarah Dr and so I stopped to chat with him. He complained about his hoarse voice and allergies. I complimented his garden and then.rolled slowly down Ranch Road 12 toward home along the long iron fence of the cemetery. At the entrance there on the side of the road was a beautiful red shouldered hawk sitting on the railing seemingly unconcerned by my slow trek by. I turned in to see if I could get a closer look. Holy Crap - there was a whole show underway. A screech owl was on the ground with his wings outstretched guarding what looking like a small squirrel. The hawk was watching the owl - swooping off the railing toward the owl and then flapping furiously up to a nearby branch - the own growling and curling his wings around his head like a big fan. Mocking birds - the name - and there were about ten of them hooting and hollering, jumping around while heckling the entire affair. And here I was with no camera - 30 feet away from all of this and no camera. Dammit - I was torn. Should I sit here quietly and watch this fantastic spectacle play out and put it to my memory, or should I sneak home and back - a seven minute trip and capture the expressions on their faces for posterity's sake? It's like being the fourth guy in line at the register during an armed robbery and having left your Sig out in the car next to the driver's seat. You feel a little bit anxious, a little bit dumb, a little bit "shoulda woulda coulda". And then, from up the hill came a long line of bicyclers - all dressed to the nines with shiny helmets - fifteen or eighteen of them I think - all peddling up a storm. You could hear that high pitched race bike sound as they passed - almost a whistle. And back lit by the sun, long shadows ahead of the glistening racers - even the hawk looked up as they passed. And there it was - the opportunity to make the break. The owl flapped up off the ground and sailed away with squirrel in foot - one mocking bird chattering all the way - and it was over. The hawk was caught watching the racing team. He sat around for a bit longer, and then sailed across the street to the phone line. I took a sip from my coffee and went on home. Hmmm...I said, good thing it wasn't the hold up.

Tonsillitis

2011-10-12T12:45:00.003-05:00

Alex came by today complaining that he couldn't turn his head, couldn't sleep and was "sick as fuck". When I checked his lyphnodes, he winced in pain. And so with flashlight and spoon and glasses, I looked inside. Holy Crap!! - a gross swollen adenoid with gewey pustules. Where have you had your mouth I said. He smiled...

Cephalexin for ten days little Chav - that should knock out whatever you have. I could not resist the opportunity to practice marco-photography.

The Economy

2011-10-08T07:37:00.005-05:00

I have just returned from a trip to West Texas - far West Texas. My purpose in going there was two pronged. "Tex" left his car here in San Marcos for repairs and I drove it out to him in Marfa. It's a long drive out there - about seven hours or so. Even though the speed limit on I-10 is 80, it can tire you out and makes for a long day. I had my camera with me too, and I seldom go anywhere without my camera.

That part of Texas is the high desert - about a mile high - with magnificent light and big sky. It's no wonder that the small town of Marfa has attracted an odd and eclectic set of visitors and/or transient residents who live among the lesser population of cowboys and ranch hands and oil service folks and poorer Hispanics. And there is the Border Patrol people too. But times are hard in this country right now and in this distant patch of grass and trees and adobe houses, there is a lull there too. Although I could easily imagine living in a place like Marfa in a small warehouse with a loft and garage, wood shop and gallery space, I can see its tattered edges. Life is going on there - like it is everywhere - but the margins are thin. In far West Texas people are just barely getting along. And as far away as they are from everywhere else, there isn't much rescue in store for them either.

There is the drought, which seems to be the aggravated circumstance to it all. Trees have died, lawns are dry, and ranchers have sold off a good bit of their livestock. But people just aren't going places like they used to, and they aren't spending a lot of their money either. Every place I went to spend the little bit of money I had, conversations were afoot about who was having a hard time, who was just breaking even, and who was going to lose their business. In Washington of course, there is the jobs bill, and the angry republicans, and so little constructive, intellectually based, long term thinking underway that any rescue is a long way off. I suppose that our system facilitates a culture of short term thinking and short term gratification for those whose grasp on power is at risk every four years. How possibly, when your objective is to stay in office - and absent the high moral sense of duty and honor these offices call for, can one think of anything that is not going to benefit you within that term. How sad that the real World doesn't work that way. It's no wonder that the loudest voices in Washington are the ones who walk in there with the deepest pockets.

As long as our Domestic multi-national corporations are allegiant to themselves and not to the country from which they were born, and Wall Street, banks and insurance companies, energy producers and automobile manufacturers are allegiant only to their stock holders, and cities and counties and states continue to pursue their economic objectives by raising funds by ever more imaginative means - bleeding the turnip and trekking forth into debt on the promise of future growth, and when we just print more money on the printing press to pay the light bill, and when across the land the stock holder has the power and the absence for foresight to plunder the customer, we are all sadly doomed and "Camelot" will fall into rusted ruins.

More West Texas

2011-10-06T22:56:00.004-05:00

Why I Need To Move

2011-09-30T10:30:00.008-05:00

I received a call from Alexey's phone this morning at 5:37am. I was awaken by the call. I answered and there was no one there. I called back at 5:40am. I sent a text with a "?" at 5:42am. I thought about it for a minute wondering what might motivate such a call. I might have been the last call on his phone from 11:01pm last night when he stopped by here to write some letters - his phone being set to call back the last caller. I also wondered, cop-wise, whether this was a sign of some distress in their house - specifically recalling Michael Dinkle's threats against their family (convicted felon) and that his rent was now about due - if he was still living at the Inn. I think he got the message from me to make haste when I talk to he and his father. And I considered a house fire - lucid carbon monoxide state and grabbing the phone. I considered that Mom might have accidentally called while perusing through Alex's text messages. Even Alex sleeping on his phone and "pocket calling" was a thought - and when he sleeps, he's out like a light. I put on my Burkenstocks and walked downstairs, changed t-shirts and walked outdoors to go take a look. As I was walking out the door, I received another phone call from Alexey's phone, this at 5:47am. I answered and there was no signal - apparently disconnected before my answering. I walked down to the top of the Dillon's driveway and stood quietly. The Mercedes, Dodge, Yukon and Breeze were parked. It was strangely dark and silent - Orion very bright right overhead. I figured if something was amiss, Tyson or Shammy would be barking. Anyhow - I went back home, found my keys and took a drive. I pulled into the Dillon's driveway from below and lighted up the parked car. I was able to see through the house clearly and there was no observable smoke. I then drove to the Crystal River Inn to see if perchance William Dinkle was out on the road - he with no car of his own. Again, it was all quiet. On the way home I stopped on Burleson in front of the Dillon's and killed my engine. A train was going through town at the time, 6:02am, and it was hard to hear. Things seemed quiet, no animals barking or distressed. I returned home and wrote this.

It is morning now and the coffee pot is gurgling in the kitchen. Kodak and Bugs are lying on the floor. I've just picked up Alex's letters at Kinko's. A cool front has blown in during the night and this afternoon promises to be an uncommon pleasant. Alex said to me last night before he left, "Man Carl, you get so much done in a day". He wanted copies of the letters we'd crafted so that he could learn how to write better. I wonder sometimes why it is that I defer to the lowest common denominator when assessing risk - thinking the worst before investigating and then proving it less difficult. If I lived in a small distant town, toiling each day in creative projects, would I become soft and no longer capable of watching out for, teaching and preparing those who I care for the most - and would I want to. I think this is just me and it's what I do.

Dog People

2011-09-28T11:12:00.006-05:00

I live in a funny town and being a dog owner, I am blessed every day by the presence of other dog people - folks who like dogs, own pets, or are filled with some sort of moral appreciation for man's greatest loyal companion. Unfortunately, so too are there people in this town who steal dogs to fight them, or filet them into skirt and make tacos. I know, it sounds odd eating a labrador taco, but they are supposed to be good.

Kodak, my black lab, is on the horizon of her next life. She had another seizure yesterday, a sign that here time is coming to an end. Bugs, my young two year old Chocolate Lab is a bundle of energy who will chase a tennis ball for hours on end. But when she was a youngster and had her first heat - she went next door to the Dillons and let their boy boxer have his way with her. When she would come home, reluctantly, she totally looked like she'd been pulling a train at a fraternity house for days on end. Lucky for me, she did not get pregnant and end up putting her kids in the nursery at the High School while she finished her elementary education - like so many others in this town.

You know how we are with our first loves - forever after, we compare our relationships tenor with the unbridled race of the first. Tyson, the very beautiful Boxer from down the street, and Bugs, my beautiful little lab from here are childhood sweethearts. And despite the fact that both have lost their reproductive capacity (fixed), they are best friends. Each day they long for each other's company. They french kiss, roll around naked, skinny dip, practice cunnilingus and fellatio(doggie style), and even pretend screw now and then(also doggie style). But what is the cutest of all is when the sleep together - like a couple in each others arms.

So here's the problem. They are a cute couple, but if they get out together - they run and run and run all across this town. Thank goodness they both have have big name tags with big phone numbers and so far, good people have rescued them and held them at bay until either I, Cathy or Mike or Alex go pick them up. Last week they were darting around in traffic on Ranch Road 12 at Wake the Dead Coffee shop - more than a mile from here. Holy Crap. And then again, a good guy stopped his truck and loaded them up in the bed and called my cell phone. Today, Kate Peterson had them at her house on Loop Street - keeping them still with bacon strips.

One of these days, someone not so nice is going to seize the opportunity to take advantage of two wayward dogs. Tyson will become a fighter - kicked and teased and harassed until he fights in a betting ring. Bugs - my cute Bugs - will be a back yard pachanga of carne guisada tacos.

Love each day like you have no tomorrow - oh so true.

Defamation of Character

2011-09-24T08:24:00.007-05:00

a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name or character of another.

If a man steals from me my purse, he steals trash. Tis something, tis nothing and has made a fool of millions. But if a man steals from me my good name, he steals that which makes him not rich and me poor indeed.

Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls.
Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him,
And makes me poor indeed.

Othelo Act 3, Scene 3

Character: is an evaluation of the aggregate components of a particular individual's durable moral qualities. The concept of character can imply a variety of attributes including the existence or lack of virtues such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, empathy, compassion, generosity, or of good behaviors or habits. Moral character primarily refers to the assemblage of qualities that distinguish one individual from another - although on a cultural level, the set of moral behaviors to which a social group adheres can be said to unite and define it culturally as distinct from others. Psychologist Lawrence Pervin defines moral character as "a disposition to express behavior in consistent patterns of functions across a range of situations"

Curtis Hill Rylander

2011-09-23T13:41:00.001-05:00

Alexey Dillon - Welder

2011-09-21T00:59:00.002-05:00

Lightning

2011-09-21T00:57:00.002-05:00

Marfa, Texas

2011-08-25T13:25:00.002-05:00

Devil's River Ranch State Park

2011-08-24T22:55:00.004-05:00

Berean James Auden

2011-08-24T22:46:00.006-05:00

Charles Soechting

2011-08-12T14:37:00.003-05:00

When I was a very young policeman in San Marcos, Charles Soechting was a young lawyer. Born of a local family, Charles had been a Highway Patrolman for a bit. A lot of years have passed since then - his own son now practicing law in Dallas. And so this week, I shot a few professional portraits for his law firm's website and marketing. Lots of stories there - lots of stories.

Brianne Corn Racing

2011-08-07T18:33:00.003-05:00

Some good many years ago I had a photography student named Brianne Corn. A lot has happened since then.

She's my neighbor across the street now and this morning I was trying to describe her to my friend Paula out in California. It went sorta like this: She was one of my photography students. When she graduated, she worked on campus taking pictures for a while. Then one day she decided that she wanted to be a race car driver. She sold everything she had and bought a car. I mean you would just love her Paula. She's taller than average and a tough gal. Not in a bad way - she could be Russian. When she comes to the house to drink, she's the last one standing. So she gets along on a shoe string budget, borrowing parts, squeaking along. This year she went to race at the Pike's Peak International Hill Climb and everything that could go wrong did go wrong. At the last minute the car broke and they had to rebuild the engine. Then they didn't have the entry money. She said it was the closest she ever came to quitting - ever. But somehow they raised the money to enter, paid their late fees and raced. Then while running the mountain, she looses a gear in her transmission. She finished somehow being the pilot of her craft, and when it was all said and done, she had won. Yah - she one the race. Holy crap!

And so today they had a meet and greet at the race track and I went out for a bit to lend my support. It's a mighty quick car and it drifts like Paul Walker was driving. My picture here is from the Harris Hill Racetrack in San Marcos.

Mt. Rainier, Washington

2011-08-01T11:36:00.005-05:00

Victor Peterson Wedding - Fox Island, Washington

2011-08-01T11:27:00.005-05:00

Rhode Island Red

2011-08-01T11:24:00.003-05:00

Favorite Alexey Birthday Quote

2011-07-12T08:16:00.001-05:00

You my nigga. You will always be a part of me. I will never forget you Carl Hosea Deal.

Alexey Dillon - Summer Vacation

2011-07-03T00:21:00.005-05:00

Basically - Alex is on his summer vacation. July 4th is Monday two days from now. July 11th is his 20th Birthday. I have his car and am working on it while he is gone. I replaced the battery yesterday. Today I replaced a vacuum line on the engine. Tuesday it gets new springs and shocks - if I can manage the spring compressor on my own. Friday a new headliner goes in - by a pal. When he gets home - his car should be good to go for another 50000 miles. It will be one year since he got the car when he gets home on the 22nd - it sitting idle for three weeks - and he will have still managed to have driven 29000 miles in one year. It's his very own magic carpet ride, that's for sure. And today - I installed a new AC unit in my office - to preserve my computers actually. It has been a hot year. Even though I have not been disciplined at the gym, it seems I have some residual strength, constructing the thing outdoors and then hauling it upstairs to the window. And then of course - after a couple of glasses of wine - I once again called DLink to manage a network problem with one of my Raids. Wow - after seven calls, this guy knew exactly what to do. It mounted right away on my Mac - and I once again have the 750 gigs of stuff I thought was afoot. I just counted - I have 41 hard drives here. Holy Crap. Happy Independence Day. It seems I am going shooting on monday - high powered rounds aimed at cans of red, white and blue paint. So too are we all supposed to build our own cannon - as the drought has put off fireworks for now. Fun!

Misty Grenier Wedding - 06/30/2011

2011-07-02T19:53:00.005-05:00

Misty Grenier - Wedding Portrait

2011-06-25T12:40:00.001-05:00

Katie Harvey & Family

2011-06-25T12:28:00.005-05:00

Alexey Dillon - Graduation

2011-06-25T11:37:00.007-05:00

Ecstasy - And Wild Berries

2011-06-25T10:01:00.006-05:00

Way back in the day when Ecstasy (MDMA - 3,2 MethyleneDioxyMethamphetamine) was first universally distributed by some UT Chemistry student - it would sit a bowls at the front door of nearly every hot club in Austin - and bars only sold water. I never tried the stuff even when it was legal. But I did have a conversation one time with an ER doc here in town who was going to UT at the time - he grinning, looking introspective -as if he was recalling his youthful exploits. He said, " Carl, that was the best drug ever made."

I remember arresting a fellow here in 1998 with 4000 hits of Ecstasy - it was real and only a small portion of his empire - and I recall the efforts at the time by the DEA nationally and other federal law enforcement agencies to control the precursor chemicals that were used in the manufacture of Ecstasy - and meth and etc. The control of chemicals was remarkably successful - at least for domestic production.

Both of my parents were chemists - and as a child, I vividly remember a brown glass vial of Potassium Iodide - a saturated solution with clear rocky crystals still floating in the bottom. It was bitter - something my dad brought home from the lab. I don't know if that was to protect us from radiation - and at the time some countries, including our own, were still exploding nuclear devices in the atmosphere. I do know that it was the best decongestant I've ever taken, even to this day. Home chemistry was normal in our family and my father's entire professional life was about inventing new things.

As a child of a chemical engineer, I was afforded the unique opportunity to putter with things - including the manufacture of our entire neighborhood fireworks display one year. I nearly exploded my room were it not for the 75 gallon aquarium I had next to my lab table. When it all started on fire, I just whisked the catfish out of the way and splashed water all over my room. Those were fun days, but undoubtedly illegal now. If I was an eighth grader now doing the same thing - some lesser neighbor would call in and a SWAT unit would be whisking me away. Such a shame. Anyhow - chemistry comes in a lot of different forms - even those not reproduced in nature and the disappearance of precursor chemicals in just a temporary obstacle for the innovative mind.

A few years ago now, I had just taken on The "Bill" as a little bro. He was just starting to trust me and to tell me some of the things he shouldn't have been doing. And while I was having dinner with his parents - he was in Austin at all night Raves - taking Ecstasy with his friends. I used to lose sleep over him in those days. He was 17.

One morning he called me at the crack of dawn to ask for my advice. Someone in his group had taken too much, or for whatever reason was having some bad complications. He wanted to know what to do. I have sighed a lot in this assignment - helping to bring someone up into better thinking. His mom thought my mission was to make him obedient to her. All 17 year olds rebel for a time. I saw my mission as something all together different - to change his behavior, to keep him out of trouble and to change his thinking all together - so too to recognize the long term reward of doing good things. There came a point where I could no longer have divided loyalties to both he and his parents. If I was going to be successful, he had to trust me and I could not betray his loyalty. I think it was this incident that first anchored my troubled decision to keep the relationship with him, his mother, and I all separate.

He described the symptoms - a large group hangover from a night out on Ecstasy - the consequence of depleting our natural store of dopamine and serotonin. A multivitamin and gatorade for now. By that afternoon, I'd been to the DPS lab in Austin and studied everything I needed to know about what kids were doing on the street. And the next day I sat down with "Bill" - right here in this room. I was sitting in this chair and he was on the opposite side of the room. I was not angry. I was not emotional. I was determined.

For me, knowledge is power and from a position of wisdom, I can both win arguments and bend a reed of grass like the wind. I read to him a long and thoughtful letter about Ecstasy, its pharmacology, effects, side effects, long term effects and the loftier things - like lifelong friendship, love and loyalty. And when I was done, he paused, looking at me across the room and said, "Alright, I'll never do it again." And he hasn't.

He took the letter and hid it in his room - some secret compartment where he keeps special things.

I say all of this because this week, I was forced once again to revisit that conversation. One of "Bill's" good friends from school confided in me that he'd been to Dallas to a recent rave where he too did Ecstasy. I could here in his voice his excitement and enthusiasm. And like The "Bill", this kid has all sorts of promise. It was the same notable rave in the news this week at which two kids died - and 20 hospitalized - and 911 calls all night to local authorities by kids overheated, over drugged, at risk. He was going to go again this weekend to do it all over again. And so, like three years ago, I had the same conversation with him - urging his better judgment to intervene. I crafted nearly that same letter to him as I did for "Bill" three years ago.

Time will tell whether it makes a difference. This is a kid who knew Cocaine in the very worst way when he was only fifteen. But this weekend, he will be coming here to my house to eat gulf shrimp and corn on the cob and red potatoes and he won't be going to Dallas to a rave. He said "Thank You".

"Dear ...,

As I mentioned to you on the phone, the likelihood that you find real Ecstasy on the street is remote. Because I have invested so much into "Bill's" wellbeing and toward ensuring that he has a happy life at all times, and that he remain my dear friend and brother forever, I was once forced by circumstance to encourage him to look before he leaped. So too must I do the same for you.

There is a rule in the World that applies to survival situations, and certainly, worldly adventures may seem recreational and fun when dropped down in front of you, but the same rule applies there. “Before you put something into your mouth, study it first”. If you were starving in the jungle and came across a beautiful red berry, you would not only be enticed by its color but by your hunger as well. To eat it would of course be foolish, unless you were skilled in recognizing non-poisonous foods in the forest, or took the time to see who else was eating it. If the birds are eating it, and monkeys and squirrels, it is probably safe for you to eat as well. As you know, plants and animals alike have adapted all sorts of trickery to protect themselves from predators. Eating the wrong berry could kill you and would then rob me, and all of us, of someone for whom we love and care for deeply. And as thirsty as you might be in the wilderness, drinking from the first puddle you find might lead to a hideous demise. You wouldn’t really drink out of the Blanco would you?

I've gone to the DPS lab in Austin recently and learned that real ecstasy is rarely seen anymore. Precursor chemicals are so well regulated in and around the United States that any real ecstasy is generally only produced in Eastern block countries and parts of Europe. There is some evidence to suggest that Mexican cartels are trying to break into the designer drug business but none is thought to be here. Nearly all of what is on the street here is some chemical facsimile or an outright fake. By in large, the pills young people buy for parties, dances and raves which is portrayed as Ecstasy, is actually a combination of:

BZP / N-Benzylpiperazine and TMPP, or Trifluoromethylphenylpiperazine

It is fake ecstasy and is designed to mimic the pharmacological effects of ecstasy or MDMA. The euphoria experienced is best described as a combination of weak LSD (a slight hallucinogenic experience) with amphetamine(Speed). Fakes may include nothing – or ephedrine, methamphetamines, LSD, cocaine and heroin – or combinations of the same.

Although there are few reports of catastrophic death associated with the overdose of the most common drugs, there are several reports of deaths caused by complications experienced when taking it. Complications are caused by unique medical reactions, overdoses or the mixing of drugs and alcohol. So too are there accidents that occur such as falls, car crashes, assaults etc. Possession is a 3^rd degree felony.

I will provide for you detailed information about the two ingredients that are found in this most common fake ecstasy. There is a lot of medical jargon that might not make sense to you, but in short, the drug causes your brain to release dopamine and serotonin, your feel good brain chemicals. You will find yourself loving your friends, and some people you don’t know at all, wanting to touch them – all over and everywhere, to smell them, taste them, kiss them, lick them, sweat with them, dance with them – but sex with them is unlikely. You will have an enhanced experience to music, rhythm and color. Complications during ingestion include dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, clenched jaw and grinding teeth, profuse sweating, extreme variations in body temperature (mostly overheating), a profound sense of thirst, acute psychosis (extreme paranoia, irrational perceptions of reality), prolonged impotence (inability to stimulate, raise or maintain an erection or to ejaculate), renal toxicity (causes kidney damage), renal wetting (leaking of urine, wetting pants) and seizures. Seizures are common. Permanent brain injury can occur from heat stroke.

The hangover from such an experience can include mild to sever headache, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, insomnia, confusion and prolonged impotence. Vitamins and electrolytes like Gatorade or Pedialite are suggested as a temporary remedy. Side effects and the depth of the post event hangover are significantly aggravated when taken with other drugs or alcohol.

The most common cause of death comes from two things – over hydration and hypertension. People drink too much water and die from a water overdose – and they have extreme bouts of high blood pressure, which can cause nose bleeds and strokes. The actual statistical numbers of those killed is undoubtedly wrong, as deaths caused by complications from mixing different drugs and alcohol can make for a difficult diagnosis – generally going down as a “drug overdose” as the cause of death with no specific chemical named as the single cause. An accident while on Ecstasy is just an accident.

There is little known medical evidence which suggests what the long term effects are. For people who chronically used real Ecstasy (MDMA) in the past, Parkinson’s Symptoms (tremors) presented in many young people, suggesting permanent debilitating brain injury.

Ecstasy and the various facsimiles cause your brain to dump, in vast amounts, dopamine and serotonin, leading to a euphoric feeling of love and wonder. This is a temporary feeling and like most brain drugs, leads to a crash in the end when your feel good chemicals are depleted. Taking more drugs to resurrect the good feeling is generally counter productive – like with cocaine – which leads to psychosis and/or self destructive and sometimes irrational endeavors to get back on top.

Brain chemical dumps occur at synaptic bridges and are to seat of the transfer of electrical stimulations throughout the brain – the foundation for our personality, memory, perceptions and so much more. It is thought that chronic ecstasy users damaged the synaptic connections between the hypothalamus (mid brain) and the cerebral cortex and cerebellum, leading to permanent debilitating loss of memory, cognitive acuity and motor skills.

It is important to consider that what might be fun now could be a real tragedy for you later. Over the span of my lifetime, I have lost friends because they did a little too much, or a little too often, or took something that wasn’t what they thought it was. Although few have died, they were just never the same. Any time you screw with your brain chemistry, the most important biochemical reaction in your body – the processes that makes you who you are, help you to perceive the world as you do, you put at risk absolutely everything. I don’t want you to do that!

Carl H. Deal III

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trifluoromethylphenylpiperazine

http://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/drugs_concern/bzp_tmp/bzp_tmp.htm

Rome, Italy - The Last Of It And My Room

2011-05-25T15:44:00.004-05:00

Chianti, Italy - The Last Supper Bell

2011-05-25T12:33:00.002-05:00

Sculptura - Roma

2011-05-25T03:59:00.002-05:00

Back to the Roma and the Pharmacy

2011-05-23T11:14:00.006-05:00

It is Monday and tonight is the dinner at the Embassy. My suit is out, shoes shined, tie picked out. As I gave up suits for lent, way back in 2003, I will re-lent tonight and wear mine. Looks like a nice event actually - several famous artists and I assume politicians will be present. I will be tired - but not so tired that I can't smile and take a picture of myself.

Today I drove back to Rome on the A1 at a blazing 100mph or so - slowing down occasionally to get out of the way of someone going much much faster that I. The car has a sixth gear and I was able to wrap it out for about an hour. By that, I mean I kept up with traffic and remained within my comfort zone. People here do haul ass on the highway. We made the twoish hundred mile trip in about two and a half hours - including all city driving, stop lights and one stop for fuel.

I'd forgotten to tell one funny story - Paula and I were eating at a small restaurant in town - she thought the specials were awful and that it was a tourist trap. Anyhow - the waiter - a young Italian fellow with a sense of humor called Paula "Lady". So while she goes to the bathroom, he meets her in the hallway and tells her that I (me) am hitting on all of the ladies in the street and that she should leave me. He then promptly comes to my table out on the street and tells me that Paula has left me, feeing through the back door of the kitchen, and that he will help me find another woman. I can't imagine any waiter in the US being able to have so much fun.

It is now late Roma time. I have returned from the Finland embassy where the "dinner" was actually a grazing cocktail party. There was every kind of Finlandia food - and not exactly what I pictured for an embassy. I've been in a few US Embassies before and there is always a compliment of machine guns - and a room of secret electronic things. This was sort of a Salmon Fishing - Nature and Suntan oriented place. Not a bad thing - really - but not what I expected. There was only one guy at the door who was annoyed at having to call cabs.

Needless to say - I didn't really know anyone except Gloria and Ernesto. I met an Australian fellow named Andrew Rogers - with his wife Judy- a famous sculptor and a few other art types. I will see them all again tomorrow at a press conference. I called Mark and I texted Chris just to be able to say I did.

And so tomorrow morning at 5am - we head into the garden's of Rome where the 25 foot bronze sculpture "Unconditional Surrender" gets off loaded from its truck and constructed in the park. There is a Press conference at noon.

And now, the sculpture is up and running and looking nearly as spectacular as it did in New York. The press conference was quite a deal and it seems the whole sculpture garden idea is being well received.

As for local folklore - I shot a great portrait of a kid in a town near here. His name was Curio. We visited for a bit but unlike what I usually do, I did not exchange information. And so I sent the picture to the tourism secretary of the town to see if he could deliver it for me. It seems he knew the kid and wrote me back immediately and did indeed pass it on.

That's about it here. We are monitoring the ash cloud.

Sunday near Voltarre

2011-05-23T08:01:00.002-05:00

Tuscany - Day 4 and 5

2011-05-21T17:44:00.008-05:00

Chianti Classico - Day 4

2011-05-21T17:09:00.003-05:00

So - before leaving New York, we bought a GPS to navigate these parts. Forthwith, the European software needed to be uploaded sometime between NY and leaving on the road. This process - a proprietary one - requires several parts that no one really wants to look for while running around Rome. After a couple of days of meandering about the Garmin website - it was pretty darn clear that they didn't want us downloading any maps that we could otherwise give to a pal. We had to load directly to the machine through a downloadable software interface...blah blah blah. Long story short - with about 12 hours to spare, we both looked through our bags of things and found the right USB connect to the Garmin and downloaded the software - oh wait - there wasn't enough memory on the machine to hold the Europe maps. We looked again and found a 4gig card, still in the box, that fit the Garmin. Great - and so we went to bed to await the 6 hour download. And so when Paula went to bed, she naturally turned off the lights, which turned off the plugs, which turned off the computer........needless to say, by morning everything was dead, including the Garmin. Strangely - when we plugged it all in, everything worked including European Maps. Learning Italian from a Garmin pronouncing street names is the wrong way to learn.

Getting out of town was a snap and before we knew it, we were in Tuscany driving around on small one lane roads. We rented a shinny black Turbo Diesel BMW for the NAPD tactical driver (me) to wield around the hills. Spinning up the turbo in third makes the best sound....

We are near Florence as far as cities goes. The hills here are mostly forested with carved vineyards and wineries everywhere. So too are there a plentiful variety of bed and breakfast places and "Agrotourismo" living arrangements at working farms, vineyards or olive oil orchards.

As far as our movement around the land, nothing has gone awry. The purpose for our visit I can say this is not the case - with obstacle after obstacle falling in place to impede our smooth sailing. Italy is a hard place to do business. Like in Chicago and perhaps Brooklyn. Nuff said on that.

We are staying at a vineyard, orchard, spa place on the top of one of the tallest mountains around. We can see for miles and miles in nearly every direction. The pool is 90 feet long. Right now, there is a band playing on the neighboring mountain - after all, it is saturday night - so loud that even Rich Mizanin would write a ticket.

We return to Rome on Monday for business - and then head East to Croatia.

Tonight I raced a small road to the two horse town of Piazza. There is a really cool little restaurant there where we stopped for dinner. As we walked in, there was a huge basket of every strange mushroom and/or fungi you've ever seen - picked from the nearby forest. Things on the menu included "Filet of Stag", Rabbit, Pheasant, wild mushrooms - wild boar - and of course, cool homemade pasta. I had Stewed Wild Boar for dinner - and it was great.

Paula is catching a cold. This means it is likely that I will be sick in a few days.

What is the very coolest of all is that Tall Andy Grimmer - my former student at Texas State, former Roommate at the house, whose wedding I photographed in Kyle just happened to be in Rome staying right across town with his wife and another couple. We didn't get together for breakfast as we'd planned - but we both said "Holy Crap" at discovering we were a World apart but not.

The Tuscan Wind

2011-05-21T06:34:00.001-05:00

Piazza Navona and Taras from Russia

2011-05-21T06:05:00.002-05:00

Roma - Polizia- Day 2

2011-05-19T17:39:00.006-05:00

Rome - Day 1

2011-05-19T06:57:00.006-05:00

The Flight Over

2011-05-19T06:41:00.003-05:00

I flew on an Al Italia Airbus 330 and not a 747. It seems on Tuesday, they get this particular machine. The seats did in fact make out into a bed. And the food was amazing - black truffle pasta, salmon and Guinea hen. I was awaken during the night by one of my fellow passenger who'd had too much Grappa, rummaging through the galley looking for something to steal. He ended up taking a handful of First Class Toiletry kits. Whatever.

A car met us at the airport - a beautiful black mercedes driven by a Romanian fellow named .....can't remember. We checked into the Hotel de Russie - the overall nicest Hotel I've ever been in - short walk from the Spanish Steps. The Pizza De Poppolo - just outside the front door hosts the 150th anniversary celebration of the Police here. It should be pretty interesting. There are helicopters landed there this morning.

As for the City - I walked everywhere yesterday late into the night - all the way from the Colosseum to here. It is a safe place in general and as long as you walk as if you are something more than a Dork - people will leave you alone. The summer travel season is already here with several US High School tours already trekking around the city. Paula and I went across town to a small restaurant in the academic district - a neighborhood with artists apartments and such near the Roman Forum. Great, great home made pasta a cheese - good wine. We walked all the way across town to get back home. We slept till 1.

New York City

2011-05-16T16:28:00.008-05:00

I have shared a glass of red wine with Harlan, crackers, hummus, smoked almonds too - with a view of the city. My flight out of Austin has been the first step of a trek overseas to Italy, Croatia and perhaps a sliver of Slovenia. And today I have come to the conclusion that it is worth fighting in life for financial distinction just so you don't have to fly coach. Holy Crap! What a flying nightmare....

And so - here I am back at Harlan's house - a 17th floor pad that looks down 8th Avenue as far as you can see. The apartment across the street, one floor down, is for sale for twenty million. Buddy, the new Jack Russell Terrier, is sniffing my pants. I am casually relaxed. As soon as I walked in this place, I took off my pants and dawned my CTMC scrubs - only to discover that I'd left all of my travel pants in the dryer back home. And so I will hike down the street in a bit to the Banana Republic and buy a couple of pairs of pants.

Paula gets in from LA after midnight - and thank goodness we will be flying tomorrow in the nose of a 747 in a seat that folds out into a bed. Probably have some sort of crazy dinner ahead of time too. I'll be wearing Banana Republic.

It is too early for me to say, but it seems we hit the ground running when we arrive. We are staying in a nice hotel, have a couple of events to attend and photograph - including a dinner at the Finish Embassy - for which I have had to drag along my black suit. Although I look good in a suit, I hate wearing them.

I have returned from my shopping endeavor down eighth and then across to seventh with one pair of pants in tow. I am trusting that the shorts I brought will carry me through most of my journey. A neighbor - somewhere behind me is playing the piano. And it seems that a lot more people here talk to themselves than do back home in San Marcos. I would look curiously to see if they were wearing any sort of blue tooth communicator. Nope - not even a cell phone, and it sure seemed as though they were carrying on a complete conversation. Who knows ?

Anyhow, Harlan and I tracked Paula's flight over from LA on the computer. She arrived without incident at about 2am. This morning, it is windy and raining. A car comes to get us at 1:30pm to take us over the New Jersey and to our flight. The empire state building is just barely visible now through the clouds.

A Conversation of Late

2011-05-11T17:58:00.000-05:00

Patrick:

You know with all of this Bin Ladin stuff going on I feel like I'm supposed to be happy for America but I'm not. I feel like there is so much corruption even in our government due to the almighty dollar and I have lost faith in our military actions as iff the Bin Ladin killing is a good thing. I feel like we just fueled the fire not extinguished it like the media is saying. I just had to get all that out. Wooooo for a Monday.

Carl:

Dear Patrick,
In response to your text message.
If we are indeed elevated, and by that I mean that we occupy the upper 90 percent of the human population, have been blessed with education,introspective ponderings, congerings, creations, and consider ourselves intellectually gifted in terms that we possess the capacity to observe and consider dilemmas, circumstances, problems from a variety of points of viewand can therefore exercise the unique human gift of critical thinking - heretofore, reason - then we should not gloat at having succeeded in killing Osama Bin Laden. Simply recognizing that justice has been done
is quite sufficient. No one, as an example, should take pride in having an abortion. Whether we believe in the woman's right to chose, or visa versa, no one of sound mind can truly believe that an abortion is a good thing - it is indeed unfortunate. It is unfortunate that a woman has had to make that choice. It is unfortunate that we have been forced by circumstance to seek and to destroy OBL. I think a sigh would be more appropriate - for it is not the choice we would have
made had circumstances been different and to our liking. The reality of the World is that the forces of the natural kingdom are cruel - and humans among them are the worst. There is a struggle afoot between light and dark, good and evil, morality and immorality. The looming question is who occupies what perspective - and this is determined by the luck of the draw and by where we are born. Morality is justified, regardless, upon the foundation of the circumstances of our birth. Our morality is all together different than theirs and both equally as powerful and inspiring - which leads, alas, to War. Good must conquer evil - and will. One man's trash is another man's treasure - so too of Good and Evil - metaphorically speaking of course.

Patrick:

I am so proud, blessed, and happy that I have a friend like you! Actually, brother would be a more appropriate word!!

Polo in Texas

2011-05-01T08:35:00.006-05:00

Blue October - Justin Furstenfeld

2011-04-30T21:50:00.003-05:00

As I may have mentioned a time or two, interesting people show up at my Birthday parties. A few years ago, the Smashing Pumpkin's guitarist Ginger Pooley showed up with a bottle of Cristal Champagne. This year Justin Furstenfeld from Blue October came with a good bottle of red. It was a real treat meeting him - he's a class act - and I enjoyed showing him around my house. It seems we have a lot of things in common - other than his superior musical talents of course. Anyhow - I was invited to the Moody Theatre in Austin with some friends as his guests and managed a press pass and we made an appearance at an after party back stage. What a great band - true musical troubadours. Here, Justin poses with my pal, Texas State graduate Chris Moor.

Blue October - Justin Furstenfeld - In Motion at the Moody Theatre

2011-04-30T21:29:00.008-05:00

Alex Dillon with Kyna Smith

2011-04-01T00:17:00.004-05:00

Brad Neuhaus in LA

2011-03-16T00:32:00.007-05:00

Mentoring Brad

2011-03-16T00:19:00.004-05:00

This past weekend, I was contracted by the father of May UT Grad Brad Aaron Neuhaus to coach him in the process of networking in Los Angeles. Brad will soon graduate with a degree in corporate communications and in addition to the opportunities that curriculum will offer, he also has an interest in the entertainment industry and acting. And so we flew to LA and met with corporate leaders, engineers, photographers and actors - all of whom were willing to give Brad the advice and council he needed to hear. We visited Modern Film Video Inc. - one of the top post production houses in the US where television and motion pictures are finalized or broadcast real time around the world - and just so happens to be the home of iTunes. Brad had a good visit with Greg Gorman, toured Dreamworks, had a round table dinner with people working in the industry - and finished with Breakfast staring Days of Our Lives actress Melanie Dupuy. It was fun, I am home, I am tired - and while I flew home to Texas, Brad went surfing for the first time at Venice Beach with Greg Bonnet.

Wedding- Carl and Virginia Deal 1941 - Duke Chapel

2011-02-27T11:42:00.001-06:00

A Note From My Father - Carl Deal - August 4, 1941

2011-02-27T10:58:00.005-06:00

Saturday Night,

Dear Family,

As you may have suspected I arrived here quite safely Tuesday morning. Since that time all has been going well enough. I spend my mornings in the photography lab and my afternoons are in the Chem. building. It seems that I shall work on dipoles next year for my research and I have been learning to run the apparatus - it is quite an elaborate setup and measurements can be made on more dilute solutions than anywhere else in the World. I have some literature on the subject and have been trying to do a little reading too.

I wrote Agness & Herald yesterday. I shall have my final exam on next Saturday and will then be ready to come home. However. I shall have to have about $5.00 in order to eat the last day or two and in order to get home.

I am getting my questionnaire ready to mail tomorrow.

I guess that is all. Be good. See you next weekend.

Love Carl

My Dog Bugs

2011-02-15T23:44:00.002-06:00

My Favorite LAW Man

2011-01-28T22:49:00.001-06:00

My decorated Navy SEAL pal Brett

Alexey Dillon - Tactical Shooting Exercise

2011-01-17T17:43:00.001-06:00

http://vimeo.com/18891678

Dimethyltryptamine

2011-01-14T13:33:00.006-06:00

N,N-Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) is a naturally occurring hallucinogenic compound of the tryptamine family. DMT is found not only in several plants, but also in trace amounts in humans and other mammals, where it is originally derived from the essential amino acid tryptophan, and ultimately produced by the enzyme INMT during normal metabolism. The natural function of its widespread presence remains undetermined. Structurally, DMT is analogous to the neurotransmitter serotonin (5-HT), the hormone melatonin, and other psychedelic tryptamines, such as 5-MeO-DMT, bufotenin, and psilocin.

Many cultures, indigenous and modern, ingest DMT as a psychedelic drug, in either extracted or synthesized forms.[5] When DMT is inhaled, depending on the dose, its subjective effects can range from short-lived milder psychedelic states to powerful immersive experiences, which include a total loss of connection to conventional reality, which may be so extreme that it becomes ineffable.[6] DMT is also the primary psychoactive in ayahuasca, an Amazonian Amerindian brew employed for divinatory and healing purposes. Pharmacologically, ayahuasca combines DMT with an MAOI, an enzyme inhibitor that allows DMT to be orally active.

Similar to other psychedelic drugs, there are relatively few physical side effects associated with DMT acute exposure. When inhaled, its vapor has been described as "very harsh". According to a "Dose-response study of N,N-dimethyltryptamine in humans" by Rick Strassman, "Dimethyltryptamine dose slightly elevated blood pressure, heart rate, pupil diameter, and rectal temperature, in addition to elevating blood concentrations of beta-endorphin, corticotropin, cortisol, and prolactin. Growth hormone blood levels rose equally in response to all doses of DMT, and melatonin levels were unaffected." Psychologically, the DMT experience can be overly-intense, potentially causing overwhelming fear and difficulty integrating experiences, if one is not mentally prepared. Furthermore, due to the intense nature of the experience, DMT is generally considered to have no addiction potential.

Oxycodone

2011-01-14T13:25:00.007-06:00

The abuse and/or the illicit use of pain killers like Oxycodone and Vicodin is the number one drug killer of young people ages 12 to 25 years of age, taking more lives than Cocaine and Heroin combined.

Oxycodone is an opioid analgesic medication synthesized from opium-derived thebaine. It was developed in 1916 in Germany, as one of several new semi-synthetic opioids in an attempt to improve on the existing opioids: morphine, diacetylmorphine (heroin), and codeine. Oxycodone oral medications are generally prescribed for the relief of moderate to severe pain. Low dosages have also been prescribed for temporary relief of diarrhea. Currently it is formulated as single ingredient products or compounded products. Some common examples of compounding are oxycodone with acetaminophen/paracetamol or NSAIDs such as ibuprofen. The formulations are available as generics but are also made under various brand names. Under the Controlled Substances Act, oxycodone is a Schedule II drug because it "has a high potential for abuse," because it "has a currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States or a currently accepted medical use with severe restrictions," and because use of the drug "may lead to severe psychological or physical dependence." According to Section 829 of the Act, Schedule II drugs must be dispensed only with the written prescription of a practitioner except in certain situations (e.g., "dispensed directly by a practitioner, other than a pharmacist," or "dispensed upon oral prescription (i.e. telephone)" in "emergency situations"). Furthermore, Section 829 specifies that prescriptions for Schedule II drugs cannot be refilled.

Mother's who are pill junkies shouldn't get pills from their children.

Carl Deal - The Pacific Northwest

2011-01-14T12:33:00.005-06:00

In a not so rare wild hair trip, I took off last Friday to the Pacific Northwest. Snow had been falling in every state except Florida. It was cold everywhere and no one was really enjoying it. So, within 24 hours of making the decision, I was walking on the very Northwest most point of the United States, peering across the Strait of juan de Fuca and into Canada's Vancouver Island. Sunny weather is always fleeting in the Northwest, especially this time of year. It rained, the sun came out for a bit, and it snowed on the beach. All in all, it was a prompt and affordable trip. I had to buy a coat at Walmart in Aberdeen, Washington because I left mine in the truck back home. It was a logging town and I got hit on by everyone, gender non-specific, including a 14 year old gothic girl with sequin pants. I had three good mishaps, none of which resulted in a calamity. As you know, texting while driving increases your likelihood of having an accident by 2300%. I very nearly rolled the bitch in a soft and muddy ditch. And had I not been so well blessed as a tactical driver, my pirouette on the black ice might have resulted in a grazing of the rock cliff. And last, I spied a wet bog. It was filled with deep cold water and slimy fallen logs. Remember, drift logs kill! So too was I on a remote and seldom traveled logging road not within cell phone service. Had I fallen, I might still be there. But, I successfully traversed the bog afoot on the slimy logs and got a few nice pictures. I was a little wet afterward. Needless to say, I have returned home safely with yet another adventure notched into my pistol grip.

Carl Deal

Carl Deal - Strait of Juan de Fuca

2011-01-14T12:06:00.005-06:00

Carl Deal - Building a Box

2011-01-14T01:28:00.005-06:00

Alexey Dillon - Our Book

2011-01-13T11:49:00.005-06:00

It was Christmas Eve. I was working in the shop at the back of the house sanding a box I'd made for Alex. It was a small wooden box with dovetail joints made from padouk, walnut, curly maple and a bead of purple heart. It was raining hard with an occasional bolt of lightning to adorn the sky. I'd just started to finish the wood with orange oil and bee's wax.

Alex drove in the driveway and pulled up near the door of the house. He sat in his car for a bit and my calling to him was useless - the rain dampening any effort. And in an instant he jumped out of his car and darted for the door carrying a long thin Christmas present wrapped with a card. He leaned it up against the door of the house. I yelled again and got his attention. He ran through the rain and up to the shop. He then got a chance to see his finished box. I think he was a bit astonished that I was able to make such a thing.

We made our way to the house where it was warm and talked for a bit on the couch. Alex laid his Christmas gift for me on the pool table. Christmas is, of course, a time for reflection and it was not unusual for me to talk about important things. I suppose that it is difficult for me to describe my relationship with him - part friend, part father, part mentor, part brother. And I have not taken my responsibility in those unique roles lightly. But at this particular moment, I talked about some of the psychological studies I'd been reading about kids like him who grew up in survivor mode. It seems that kids like Alex when forced by circumstance to live on the street, to beg for food, to sleep on a heater grate during developmental years, living harshly for their daily survival - it creates a different neuropsychological template in his brain that is tuned to the hunter, gatherer sort of existence. So too is there is the fight and flight and/or predator and prey component built in. It is therefor not unusual for someone like Alex to have difficulty instilling trust and loyalty, or in thinking long term, or in making long term plans - stuck in the here and now sort of living pattern of behavior - to get while the gettin is good. And so for me, it is suggested, that to be most successful in helping him toward a meaningful and self sufficient life, I need to be always considerate of how he thinks and why he does what he does and to make every experience for him meaningful, educational and esteem building. So too, not to demand certain things from him I might be accustomed to expect in a Western culture, or from a young person who grew up in a less challenging circumstance or even a normal circumstance. In four years now, we have not argued, nor been cross with one another even once.

On this day, after explaining to him my studied effort to make the best for him out of every experience or time we were able to spend together, I also talked about our long term destiny. Alex is not exactly a good communicator. He goes on his way doing what young people do and doesn't very often check in - even with the people who care about him the most. This is not unusual for him, and is indeed sort of who he is, but it is exceedingly difficult as a parent or caregiver to be left hanging all the time. It dampens the spirit, the enthusiasm and always calls into question one's dedication. It's easy to say to yourself, "what's the point", and not so easy to remain steadfastly dedicated and committed to his long term welfare whether you get any feedback or not.

Of late, he has been particularly difficult to pin down. He'd been stressed out by his mom and forged a few detrimental exploits in response. And so, pointedly, I had the come to Jesus meeting about our friendship and my waining enthusiasm - and that it was a consequence of his unchallenging and unsophisticated behavior - and in short, the taking for granted of well established reliable resources. In few words I said something to the effect and quite frankly that if we were going to make our friendship a life long affair, that it wasn't a simple matter and that a lot of work as well as consideration had to go into sustaining it. I told him that him bailing was not an option and that talking about small issues before they became big ones was always the best way to keep peace and a mutual understanding. He smirked a bit and asked me what I was saying. I repeated that if we were going to make this a life long thing we needed to communicate that and that if we weren't, that we both needed to rethink things and make different plans. He'd known that I have been concerned. He smirked again and smiled - saying, "I won't bail on you if you don't bail on me. Don't you ever bail on me. I wan't this thing to be forever." I paused, reluctant to smile or to feel as though I'd accomplished something in having this conversation, for I'd been in this boat before with him. He's a hard person to get a commitment out of that is succinctly followed by meaningful action. Even though I think his mom's approach with him is just the wrong approach, I can certainly empathize with her for being in the same boat as I. You have to be your own cheerleader and to continually convince yourself, on your own, that you doing the right thing and that you are making a difference.

With this discussion, Alex's smirk changed to a smile. He pointed toward the pool table and said that he wanted me to open my present now. As we walked in the next room, he said, read the card first. And on a single sheet of white notebook paper was a note to me from Alex. He'd written it with his left hand, for his right hand was broken and in a cast. As I opened it, he complained about how difficult it had been to write with his left hand. The note said the following:

"Merry Christmas to you my brother.
The present I want this year is to be
sure that our friendship is everlasting,
that we will be brothers for life
and even in the next life.
You have been an amazing
friend to me, taken care of me,
and looked out for me.
That's all I wanted for all my life
and you are the one who gave me that.
Love you brotha
Merry Christmas,
Alex"

Well. it did bring tears to my eyes. I have sat quietly at times since reflecting on this exchange and recognize indeed how important it is.

A time has passed since, and Alex continues to do what he does, but today for instance, he called me three times. In each case it was for me to walk to his house and give him a hand working on a 1976 Mercedes he's trying to restore. With a little help from my pal Chris. we got the alternator repaired and the reverse gear back in operation, cleaned the motor and made a plan for the next set of fixes. Each time Alex would smile, feeling accomplished, good about himself and happy. And for me, it is enough for me to know, that he knows, that he can always count on me for my support - no matter what. And so this afternoon, I spoke with Alex about my tireless desire to do something meaningful. I have for a long time thought that documenting Alex's life would be an important thing, for certainly, his story is a remarkable one. And tonight, Alex agreed to help me write a book about his life. Although his Christmas card to me represents a "bronze plaque" of notable distinction, his story documented simply for history's sake, will free me to rest in peace.

Carl Deal

Port Aransas, Texas

2011-01-01T09:53:00.004-06:00

Bare Branches

2010-12-29T13:52:00.002-06:00

The horizon off beyond the hills is gray

and dark and gives me chills. A sign

no less of a future message. A fortune

cookie's silent vestige. Overnight the

World has changed. Winter's cold

and loves estranged. The dog lays

quiet on the floor. Enlightened hearts

fly here no more. Time will tell what

is in store. Spring's rebirth is heretofore.