Last night while writing your dad a Happy MLK note - I ran across a video you did driving home from Dallas. I can't find it now and so I can't watch it again - but I thought about it all night. So - you obviously do things because they are the right thing to do. I would urge you to never lose that calling. The World needs boy scouts and samaritans and Tibetan Monks who walk old ladies across the street, hold doors open for fancy ladies, who protect the weak, watch out for the little guy and root for the underdog. Back in the day when I was on patrol, one my favorite things to do was to overwhelm people with niceness. They would jump out of their car waving their hands bitching to high heaven about whatever - sharing their sad, miserable lives with me - trying though they might to bring me down to their level and make me as miserable as they are. Lesbians do that to - but that's another story. And so the challenge always is to encourage people who are not polite, who are not happy, who are having a bad day, to step up to the high ground that you walk on. You do that by walking the walk, living by example, and doing each day what you know in your heart is the right thing to do - and be the living example of character, humility, compassion, empathy, generosity and love. And if you do this always - you will find that you can change the people around you, and that the people who occupy your inner circle of trusted loyal friends will live by the same creed - to do unto others as you would wish for them to do unto you.
Living in or worrying about the past, or about something once done that you could have done better is a useless endeavor - for no amount of energy can change the past. The future is still to unfold and may never be, and so waiting today in anticipation of something tomorrow is just as fruitless as is your lamenting the past. Our only time to truly live is in the present - this moment - and to do all that is doable.