Thursday, September 20, 2012

Sue Cohen, San Marcos, Texas

Dear Sue,
I was with Alex a while back getting a cup of coffee downtown at Tantra. As we walked in I saw you across the street on your morning walk. As I began to raise my hand to wave saying, "oh there's Sue Cohen", Alex poked me and said "Fuck Sue Cohen". You might have heard it. And he didn't have any drinks in him then. He went on to say he was never coming to your house again etc. etc. and more than I need to write here.

Alex was both angry and sad when he told me what you'd done at Liz Dillon's 92nd birthday party. I am sorry for him that he had to endure something so despicable, so evil and so pointedly intended to belittle him, to harm him,  to hurt his feelings, to undermine his self esteem and pride, and to embarrass him among his peers. I might expect this from his mother. It is the way she tries to control him, a passive aggressive style for breaking his self confidence, freedom and independent spirit, making him feel bad about himself - "neutering him" if you will into a subservient obedient cast - and certainly demanding he do nothing to embarrass her in the community. Sadly - there is plenty of ammo there already without the help of her children. She does mean well though - in her own unique way.

When he told me the whole story about why he told you to "Go Fuck Yourself" in the middle of a party, I could only imagine that you said what you did because you were either drunk or stupid. I will assume you were both. And since I can't do anything about your suspected intoxication, I will approach this from the perspective that you are just ignorant - not unlike someone who tells nigger jokes, or in two faced banter pretends to be friendly and cordial with people different than themselves and assassinates them behind their back.

It has been my privilege and perhaps greatest honor to have been Alex's friend and mentor these past five or six years. It is safe to say that both of our lives have been enriched by the experience. And unlike so many others in his life, I am his best friend. I will never stand him up, I will never let him down, I will reassure him when he feels insecure, comfort him after a bad day, inspire him to do things he never thought he could do, challenge him to live without fear and regret, bolster his self confidence and esteem, teach him everything I know,  advise him, protect him and watch over him. I provide for him opportunities and experiences that broaden his horizons, introduce him to brilliant and accomplished people who will help him in his life. I've taken him hiking, hunting, camping and fishing. Taught him how to drive. Taught him how to shoot. He's had drinks with Andy Garcia, Catherine Bach, Ricky Lake, Christopher Atkin and Sharon Stone. He's got a personal letter from Michael Bloomberg. I paid for his US Citizenship. I even taught him how to replace the ball joints in his truck.  One day, I will stand in his wedding, God Father his children and I will never hurt or abandon him. The latter being the most important - he has asked and I have promised that forever and ever, he can count on me no matter what - and he does.

Again - when Alex told you to "Go Fuck Yourself", it must have been an interesting departure for you from his historically respectful behavior. I say with a smile, good on him. He's a grown ass man now Sue and can pick out a racist bigoted pig all on his own and he called you out. He called you out on what he knew was gross, incomprehensible, contemptible and loathsome behavior on your part in regard to something that was not in your realm of authority to address.

I "Ditto" his remark.

Carl H. Deal III

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