Friday, March 23, 2012

Poop Du Jour

A Note To Tenants from the Management:

Spring has arrived and we have had the good fortune of a few hard rains. This means of course that the trees and grass and wildflowers florish – which it did little of last year during the drought. Anyhow – because we all live in a dog eat dog World, it has come time to discuss the matter of poop.

Before I do that, I’d like you all to know that I recently bought a second hand weed-eater from Danny’s shop. After a little maintenance and a new carburetor, it is as good as new.  I’ll bet you didn’t know that those little two stroke engines can rap out as much as 12,000 rpms at full throttle. And since most are direct drive, that thin little string spinnin round and round becomes a lethal weapon to the juicy pulpous grass, weeds and thistle that come up everywhere this time of year.

Gosh – can you imagine what that blender of a weed whacker can do to a fresh gelatinous cytoplasmic dog poop. Alas, I have first hand knowledge. If you were using your Cuisenart, or perhaps your own Margarita making Osterizer, there isn’t even a button for the kind of puree I found today. And since I wasn’t wearing a Hazmat suit, I could have been a piece of lucky strip gum with as many flavors that, sadly, became moistened mist at my feet – and then propelled in all directions.

I jest of course, but this was in truth, poop mania – a literal landscape of poop hiding out beneath our Spring greenery. And since all of us have lets just say – one dog – and it poops once a day – that’s like 365 poops in the yard. If we have two dogs, that’s a whopping 730 poops. And since we have five units, and nine dogs all told – that’s 3285 potential poops a year right here in our own back yard. Good we are not in Bangladesh. There is as I recall a historically significant cliche that applies to nearly every interpersonal circumstance life can offer - a warning really not to poop in your own back yard. 

So – we are all forthwith on poop patrol. Your dogs may poop at any neighbors – not including me. If they poop here – please pick it up and dispose of it properly.
And as always, have a great day!    

Spring Winds

Tuesday, March 20, 2012